Along with the current upheaval in the world’s financial system comes a tremendous strain on personal relationships. The economy will get better – but will you still be together when it does?

In my financial planning practice, I’m not only seeing clients with more financial concerns than in the past, but they are coming with higher levels of anxiety and depression than I’ve ever seen in my 25 years in the financial industry.  My counseling background is coming in handier than my MBA these days!

It is typical that financial problems simmer beneath the surface — until a crisis hits. Then underlying problems like overspending, lack of a financial plan or clear goals, no savings plan, risky investments and indebtedness suddenly become serious sources of fear and resentment.

Tips to help your relationship weather the financial storm:

1.)    Deal with the immediate crisis first. This means getting your financial house in order ASAP.  A spending plan is absolutely essential. Create a plan that works for both of you and stick with it.

2.)    Acknowledge the emotional stress. You’re in this together. Talk it out. Seek outside help if emotions are running too high to have a meaningful conversation.  Ideally financial or personal counseling should involve both partners, but don’t let your partner’s reluctance stop you from seeking help yourself.

3.)    Face reality. Your life may be undergoing a major transition and things might never be quite the same again. Financial changes that were often necessary and a long time in coming now demand immediate action. Get the facts, information and guidance you need to help you through this crisis.

4.)    See through the fear and recognize that many of the changes you are making now can lead to a better more financially sustainable life tomorrow. Focus on a vision of possibilities. Is this the opportunity to live the life you really want? To change jobs or careers? Scale down the hectic life you’ve been living? Early retirement? Go back to school? Many people are seeing wonderful new possibilities opening to them despite the turmoil all around.

5.)    Understand that both of you are under a lot of pressure. Men and women often handle crisis differently and some people are just better at it than others. (And many people are finding that roles are reversed during the present upheaval.) But everyone needs compassion, encouragement and support in times of crisis.

6.)    Above all else, remember that this is a time for taking care of each other. What were those immortal words all couples recite? Something about “richer or poorer – in good times and in bad”? Well I guess this is what they meant about the “bad times”.  Riding out the storm together will make you that much stronger when the good times return – and with better financial skills to boot. – Karin Mizgala

Karin Mizgala is a Vancouver-based fee-for-service financial planner with an MBA and a degree in psychology. She’s the President of LifeDesign Financial and co-founder of the Women’s Financial Learning Centre.